And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just forgot I was standing up.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
