I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
