i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
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I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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