I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
