You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
