these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
