He is an equal opportunity slut.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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