he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
