We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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