You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
