She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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