Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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