I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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