Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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