All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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