he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
