Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
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when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
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I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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