Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
