They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
