I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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