Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
