I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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