He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
