this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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