He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
