People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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