Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize