The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
