Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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