i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
