After last night, I could never be a politician.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
