Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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