Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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