boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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