I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
They have beer where we have blood.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
