he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
