didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
