Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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