After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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