at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i think i just lost a toe
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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