Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid

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  (215): So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling (215): on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid http://tfl.nu/4rn1
  Replies (54) Good night (2196) Bad night (1504)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.

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  (253): Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs. http://tfl.nu/k3j3
  Replies (13) Good night (1510) Bad night (3665)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special

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  (781): my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special http://tfl.nu/2mea
  Replies (63) Good night (16485) Bad night (2021)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A

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  (814): I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A http://tfl.nu/j0fk
  Replies (25) Good night (6546) Bad night (678)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.

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  (208): aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it. http://tfl.nu/sbum
  Replies (18) Good night (7470) Bad night (1452)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.

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  (404): Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party. http://tfl.nu/3iq6
  Replies (16) Good night (2841) Bad night (3665)
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  (518): View more from New York

  my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks

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  (518): my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks http://tfl.nu/8135
  Replies (11) Good night (4546) Bad night (1207)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.

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  (630): The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko. http://tfl.nu/k2r0
  Replies (3) Good night (1574) Bad night (860)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.

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  (832): He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like. http://tfl.nu/ukkd
  Replies (21) Good night (3901) Bad night (1124)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.

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  (850): If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/8h92
  Replies (7) Good night (1817) Bad night (586)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again

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  (402): I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again http://tfl.nu/3l87
  Replies (0) Good night (890) Bad night (499)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.

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  (904): As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now. http://tfl.nu/x89u
  Replies (6) Good night (721) Bad night (383)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.

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  (585): Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire. http://tfl.nu/1iqw
  Replies (3) Good night (744) Bad night (550)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.

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  (605): I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong. http://tfl.nu/x9eb
  Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (355)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock

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  (651): Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock http://tfl.nu/apah
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (263)

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