Its about making memories worth repressing
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
