Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.