There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
