Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
only if we run a train.
done.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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