he thought i was a dude.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
this will be a night to untag.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
