Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize
