It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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