every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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