if you like me you must not know who I am
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
