I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
