i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize