he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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