It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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