he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
