I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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