what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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