can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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