why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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