My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
