Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
