I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
